AS I looked around the newsroom searching for lunch inspiration on this cold Tuesday afternoon, a voice popped into my head urging me to try the new vegan bake from Greggs.
New out this week, Greggs have delivered the Vegan Festive Bake, made from puff pastry and filled with savoury flavour Quorn, mycoprotein pieces, sage and onion stuffing balls and vegan bacon crumb with a sage and cranberry sauce.
Like many, I had to Google "mycoprotein". Mycoprotein is a protein made from Fusarium venenatum, a naturally occurring fungus. After scrolling down the page a little, a frequently asked question is, "can mycoprotein make you ill?" The answer is quite shocking, with those who are sensitive to Quorn products suffering from vomiting, nausea and diarrhoea, leaving many at emergency rooms for treatment.
Being colourless and odour-less, I instantly regretted this afternoon's lunch decision, however I took one for the team and took my first bite. Pastry pieces covered my lap like a severe case of dandruff and the contents didn't make me feel any better about the mess I was uncontrollably making.
The bake was creamy, which I would have really enjoyed if it was warm, however I found myself biting down on a cold bake with the feeling of lukewarm baby vomit swishing around my mouth, while graciously reminding myself I don't have to put myself through this.
I took another breath and continued - the taste of stuffing was strong and there was a generous amount there, so I would have to give them a star for that, and although I couldn't taste any bacon crumbs, the aroma of cranberry sauce was quite strong.
I initially called it a cold, flavourless Christmas dinner in a bake, and I think that is the best way to describe it.
20-minutes have passed and I feel tired, hungry and groggy. Would I recommend it? No.
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