Where have all the poodles gone?

That was what I found myself thinking during a walk at Otley Chevin at the weekend, when I came across dogs of various breeds, shapes and sizes, including a fluffy white poodle. It looked like some smart new breed; not like the nervous-looking little poodles I remember from way back when.

When I was a child, in the 1970s, poodles were quite a common sight – they usually belonged to old ladies and had names like Whisky or Trixie, and they were white, brown and occasionally black. Sometimes they wore tartan coats to match their owners’ shopping trolleys. You just don’t see them now. The same goes for Yorkshire Terriers, also a dog of choice for old ladies.

Do dog breeds go out of fashion? Not being much of a dog person (I prefer the aloof contempt of cats), I hadn’t given this much thought before, but I guess the answer would be ‘yes’.

A standard poodle has just been crowned Best in Show winner at Crufts, but it looked nothing like the yappy little mutts in tartan coats that I recall. Crufts has highlighted not only the bewildering array of breeds making up Britain’s canine population today, but also how various breeds have evolved.

Pedigrees are often crossed to create new super-breeds and strange hybrids. Why have a labrador or a poodle, when you can have a labradoodle? Then there are those ‘mop dogs’ with the dreadlocks, their entire bodies covered in thick, long hair that must be a weight to carry around. Even their eyes are covered with thick clumps of fur; I feel sorry for the poor beasts.

Some dogs have faces so squashed they can’t breathe properly, others have folded layers of skin that looks unnatural and painful. Heart problems, breathing difficulties, overheating and dermatitis are some of the conditions linked to pedigree breeding, not to mention mental health complications caused by intensive inter-breeding.

Dog breeding is big business, as are dog shows, but there’s something unsettling about humans playing God and creating new breeds that leave dogs having to endure constant health problems.

Perhaps more than any other animal, dogs are treated like fashion accessories. They’re stuffed into handbags, they have their fur dyed hot pink and, according to a recent TV report, they’re subjected to extreme pampering treatments, including facials and anti-ageing creams! I’ve even heard of dog plastic surgery in America.

Dogs shouldn’t exist to satisfy the vanity-by-proxy of their owners. For every over-indulged, inbred pedigree, there are plenty of unwanted, abandoned and ill-treated canines languishing in dog rescue centres, waiting for someone to love them just the way they are.