George Hayter: Help save dying breed (From Hampshire Chronicle)

George Hayter: Help save dying breed

7:51am Friday 7th December 2007 in

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THE hippo, most types of bear and many sharks face extinction, naturalists are warning.

An estimated 100,000 species of plant are also said to be threatened with the final curtain as man increasingly changes the planet.

There is no doubt the world will be a poorer place if we share it with less variety of lifeforms.

We must modify our behaviour to reduce the rate of extinction.

One threatened creature that has escaped the attention of most naturalists is the humble apostrophe.

This simple animal, domesticated by man millions of years ago, is now totally dependent on us for its survival.

The threat faced by the apostrophe comes not from global warming or deforestation, but from sheer ignorance of correct punctuation.

And the threat is very real. By the time you finish reading this article, scientists say, 5,000 apostrophes will have perished across Britain - and nowhere is the slaughter more terrible than in Winchester.

Peter Symonds College once had an apostrophe after the final "s" in "Symonds", but that important habitat was destroyed years ago, when the college changed its letterhead.

Kings Worthy is another scene of carnage, with the apostrophe after "Kings" removed by officials with no regard for the welfare of a defenceless creature.

The apostrophe is hanging on in Chandler's Ford, but even there, some road signs and many addresses no longer provide refuge.

Oliver's Battery and Sleepers' Hill are also coming under increasing pressure from poor education.

Some misguided nature-lovers try to help the apostrophe by putting one in plural's like this one, but they are never happy in that alien environment.

More objectionable to me are wealthy people who find it amusing to shoot apostrophes.

Now that's very bad grammar.