JUDITH HENEGHAN: Home alone with a sense of blissful squalor (From Hampshire Chronicle)

JUDITH HENEGHAN: Home alone with a sense of blissful squalor

2:21pm Thursday 19th April 2007 in News

I WAS home alone last week. The children were away for a few days, and for once I knew exactly how I wanted to spend my time.

I wasn't going to decorate the living room or dig up the garden, or clean under the beds or think about my job.

I wanted to spend an entire week sitting in front of my computer, writing. Just me and my novel.

In the event it all went pretty much to plan. I got up early, made a huge jug of coffee and sat at the kitchen table in my dressing gown, tapping away.

Every so often I'd get dressed and go for a walk and I did see friends once or twice, but otherwise I was happy, on my own time, no distractions, and I wrote a lot of words.

Then the day arrived when the children were due home.

I leaned against the sink and contemplated the kitchen. I hadn't put the bread away all week. Worse, I had left my knife dirty on the breadboard until I wanted it again.

The counter was cluttered with pens and bits of paper and jam spots and unwashed coffee cups. Elsewhere was no better. I hadn't cleaned out the fish tank.

I hadn't vacuumed as I'd intended, and I hadn't yet changed anyone's sheets, despite having a whole week at my disposal.

I hadn't put petrol in the car or bought any groceries, and I still hadn't wiped the blob of Bolognese sauce off the wall. I hadn't left the dustbin out, either.

Friends are always commenting on my tidiness.

When someone drops something on the floor I pick it up. When a meal is over I clear it up, and when the children are at home I get quite particular about their shoes, their schoolbags, their mugs and their apple cores.

After all, it is one of me against the four of them. A tidy house has helped me pretend that I am in control.

I am the parent! I create order out of chaos! Yet when the children went away I sank into blissful squalor. Just me and my crumbs.

However, the clock was ticking. The children were due to return in less than three hours.

Almost enough time to set the house to rights. I made myself some toast. Two and a half hours.

It is such a rare thing, a few days to oneself - I was out of the habit. The vacuuming could wait a little longer. This was my time. Writing time.

So I sat down in front of my computer and let some more dust gather.

When the children arrived home I confessed.

"Standards have slipped," I told them.

Their lack of concern was unanimous.

Deary me - where will it all end?