Blogsbody is safely home to Hogshire’s Alresford-on-Arle, capital of Greater Cressroads, after averaging 30-mph at the wheel of his RAF-blue ‘Wings’-for-Wheels.

His 19-year-old Ford Escort ... would you believe, automatic!

Equipped with electric windows, but devoid of power steering and making three pit-stops at as many service centres for the town hack to top up on caffeine as well as a read of this past Easter Sunday’s tabloids.

In turn beginning to explain away 90-spent-minutes of his five-hour, 150-mile drive home from Pontypridd, South Wales to his dysfunctional Lower House of Windsor.

And where he was to read the two welcoming words 'Vile writing’ keyed into the comment box of his latest blog for the much respected Hogshire Chronic – Pink-hatted Daisy-Mae bears silent witness to crack-heads’ baby put in arms of SS – after he booted up an aging Acer laptop on his desk in the cramped family dining-room that doubles as his so-called Word Factory inside a re-roofed, three-bedroom, city-built terrace.

Blogsbody discovered the comment to be the work of icy,blue-eyed Sharon Watson by the look of her Facebook photo, self-described as ‘Winchester female, networks ITV, fan of Straight Dave, North Walls Corner House Coffee Bar ...’ and for Blogsbody to coax her into half-apologising:

‘I don't mean to be rude, I'm sure you take great pride in them' (his blogs), 'but I just can't bear those articles. I follow the Chron for local news and I can't read this stuff. :(‘

But it is his blog’s cast of scores of Greater Cressroads locals as well as Tichborne Arms regulars that demands the town hack travels beyond his Hogshire beat to bring news of where are they now.

Then for him to begin to tell what has befallen such past local personalities as his only daughter Keogh – former manager of the village inn that the BBC dubs Blog Central, and proud mother of premature Daisy-Mae – whose scores of cards, emails and inter-floral messages sent from the watercress capital of the world busily congratulate Keogh and her fiancé Richard on the recent birth of their 3lb 10oz baby.

Folk become members of Daisy-Mae’s growing family of adopted Cressroads aunts, uncles and cousins - “and if only her late Great-Aunt Peg were here to welcome her into the world,” Blogger Bamps knew to set Keogh’s wheels off, off and away.

Remembering the never-to-be-forgotten former chorus girl in the days of music hall in Yorkshire, who fell in love with a carrot-haired York greengrocer but chose instead a novitiate with the Order of Dominican Sisters.

Becoming a nun – Sister Margaret Aidan, OP – nicknamed ‘Aids’ and recognized, together with her fellow sisters, as a ‘bride of Christ’.

One to be found teaching music at the convent high school in Harare, Zimbabwe, where the Aids epidemic sweeping Africa most decided her to shed for ever the name chosen in place of her family name to complete her religious identity.

“So, Bamps, if your Aunt Peg became a bride of Christ … “

“… and she did,” the town hack assures his daughter.

“In turn, Daisy-Mae’s great-aunt?”

“Correct, Keogh.”

“And so making Jesus your uncle?”

“Yup … your Great-Uncle, Keogh …Daisy Mae’s Great-Great-Uncle … and uncles scarce come any greater than Him!” http://www.blogsbody.co.uk