'OH dear Mike. A bad back? Nothing worse. It hurts but you can't quite put your finger on where exactly . . . as if I wouldn't anyway . . . Off to St Mary’s tonight so I will wrap up warm to watch my Red Army in battle. Will be a close contest, I think. Hope you are ok apart from the back. You need a good massage Take care, my Mr Blogsbody,' his Lady Karen Kiss-Kiss sends her love.

Broken marriage, mortgage, fulltime job as well as part-time, younger sister in psychiatric care, and a son in a young offenders’ institution supported by his mum’s regular visits, Lady Karen of one of Greater Cressroads’ two sea-ports, who looks a decade or more too young to be an especially loved granny as well as mother, has met the silver-haired town hack only the once.

So be it?

When, during the early hours of many a morning over the past 49 wintry days from marking the anniversary of the death of Sir Francis Drake through to the Feast of St Patrick, the two have gone on to exchange emails totalling thousands of words.

For them to be seen to drag some of the baggage of their family dramas into cyber space; share their troubled times; and, respectively as well as respectfully, come to know each other all the more intimately.

No secret, therefore, to reveal where Lady Karen, who betrays no semblance of any shadow of doubt over the offside rule, went in her own and precious little time two evenings ago.

St Mary’s!

But only to experience more disappointment in her middle-aged life as she watched the game get away from her beloved Saints and visiting Swindon go on to win 1-0.

'Congratulations Granddad, how lovely. What a beautiful little girl and a beautiful name. Wonder what lies ahead for Daisy-Mae, another little person for you to worry about. I look at my two little grandchildren, think how innocent they are and what little worry they have at the moment. A shame they have to grow up. By the sounds of your blog, your back is being well looked after. You take care and don't overdo it. Sounds like you're trying to burn the candle at both ends. Love and hugs, Miss K Kiss-Kiss,' reminds Blogsbody she is again single.

And one more email serves to inspire Alresford septuagenarian town hack to imagine a return to life before superannuation and a need to swallow once, twice or three times daily milligram amounts of enteric-coated Aspirin, Bendroflumethiazide, Co-codamol, Simvastatin as well as Glucosamine Sulphate Chondriotin Sulphate and MSM.

Post'scrip: Alresford's town hack has still to pop his prescription for four 50mg Sildenafil – ‘half or full tablet as needed’, recommended to be taken 30 minutes before (but chance may yet prove a fine thing) – into one or other of Cressroads' pharmacies, and where four tabs or eight halves thereof retail at a price equivalent to eight pints of Brewer’s Droop in the Arms of Tichborne. – www.blogsbody.co.uk